yellow tie, the suave fellow

Rob Cantor

"Shia Labeouf"

robinchan33:

dopesickles:

hitsdotcom:

Rob Cantor’s song about actual, cannibal “Shia Labeouf” (as seen on BoingBoing)
You can upvote this on Reddit here: http://www.reddit.com/tb/sg54v 

followers please stop everything that you are doing and listen to this

thank you.

yessss i can’t stop listening

for those too lazy to click a link to listen to it

edit: here, have lyrics

You’re walking in the woods
There’s no one around and your phone is dead
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him
Shia LaBeouf
He’s following you, about 30 feet back
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
He’s gaining on you!
Shia LaBeouf!
You’re looking for your car, but you’re all turned around
He’s almost upon you now and you can see there’s blood on his face
My God, there’s blood everywhere!

Running for your life
From Shia LaBeouf
He’s brandishing a knife
It’s Shia LaBeouf
Lurking in the shadows
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf

Living in the woods
Shia LaBeouf
Killing for sport
Shia LaBeouf
Eating all the bodies
Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf

Now it’s dark and you seem to have lost him
But you’re hopelessly lost yourself
Stranded with a murderer, you creep silently through the underbrush
Aha! In the distance, a small cottage with a light on! Hope!
You move stealthily toward it but your leg! Ah! It’s caught in a bear trap!

Gnawing off your leg
Quiet, quiet
Limping to the cottage
Quiet, quiet
Now you’re on the doorstep
Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf

Sharpening an axe
Shia LaBeouf
But he doesn’t hear you enter
Shia LaBeouf
You’re sneaking up behind him
Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf

Fighting for your life
With Shia LaBeouf
Wrestling a knife
From Shia LaBeouf
Stab it in his kidney
Safe at last
From Shia LaBeouf

You limp into the dark woods, blood oozing from your stump leg
But you’ve won: you have beaten Shia LaBeouf.